Grand Duchy of Haren
The Grand Duchy of Haren was a micronation based on a farm in southwestern Ohio. It was created as a humorous exercise in 1996 by Ray Haren. Their national culture is heavily influenced by a legend that their family dog is from the planet Mars.
Territory
Located near the town of Tipp City, in the U.S. state of Ohio, the territory of the Grand Duchy consists of Ray Haren's 26.697 acre farm. It is approximately 15 miles northeast of the city of Dayton, Ohio.
The expansive property has large house and several outbuildings. There is a pond in the center of the heavily forested country. The Lord High Mayor's wife maintains a horse paddock and also keeps horses in the Grand Duchy's stables.
History
The Grand Duchy of Haren seceded from the state of Ohio on 4 August 1996 in an open revolt.
On the day Ray Haren decided to separate his farm from the surrounding United States, he first mobilized the entire citizenry of Haren to face the anticipated onslaught of the American military. This event was preemptively named the "Great Battle of Brandt." However, the U.S. armed forces failed to show up for the battle, so Ray considered his revolt to have been an uncontested success. The Grand Duchy of Haren was formed in propria persona as a result and Ray was proclaimed Lord High Mayor.
Great Battle of the Tree Trimmers
Another great battle was fought on 6 June 1997 when the Grand Duchy was infiltrated by American and Cuban agents posing as telephone company tree trimmers. This was a great moment for Prince Jed The Fearless, a prized pet of the Haren family, who single-handedly defeated these combined forces.
Dissolution
The exact date of dissolution of the Grand Duchy of Haren is not known, but its website disappeared from the internet sometime in 2002. Grand Duke Travis attempted to contact Lord High Mayor Ray Haren in 2020, but he never received a response. The project is believed to be either defunct, or at least inactive.
Lord High Mayor Ray
The politics and activities of the Grand Duchy of Haren are dominated by its founder, Ray Haren, who proclaimed himself Lord High Mayor over the Grand Duchy. It is not known why he did not take the title Grand Duke, and there is no evidence the title was ever bestowed upon anyone.
Ray Haren was the first and only Lord High Mayor of Haren, having served in that role since the nation's independence in 1996. The official website states that Ray was elected to the post by an unanimous vote, "possibly because of the fact he is just entirely too wonderful." Although in reality, he appointed himself to the post. Immediately after being elected, Ray claimed supreme monarchy-style powers and abolished all future elections to ensure his appointment for life. As Lord High Mayor, Ray possessed the authority to issue "immediate corporal punishment." This severely limited freedom of the press in Haren, as anyone who spoke badly about Ray was subject to untold physical punishment.
He enjoys drinking Jack Daniels and operating amatuer (Ham) radio.
Agriculture
Ray Haren began running an organic farm in the Grand Duchy around 1997. Some of the vegetables he grew included:
- Early Girl and Big Beef tomatoes
- Straddons Select green peppers
- Ruby Ball cabbage
- Various varieties of hot peppers
Religion
The Grand Duchy of Haren recognizes only Roman Catholicism as the state religion. Other religions are tolerated but are nonexistent in the realm. Rumors abound that several citizens practice druidry but are unconfirmed.
On Haren's official website, Lord High Mayor Ray is quoted as saying: "Apologies to those nations that promote freedom of religion. The correctness of the Catholic religion was confirmed when it was discovered that the native peoples of Mars recognized the earthly Pope as their religious leader."
Foreign relations policy
The Grand Duchy of Haren extends a warm welcome to other nations worldwide. Their policy is to form friendly relations with all countries and harbor no prejudices to any people or persons.
So far as is known, the Grand Duchy of Haren has never engaged in diplomatic relations with other nations or micronations. This may be due to a conceited statement posted on their website: "Although the preeminence of the great and wonderful Grand Duchy of Haren should be plain to anyone, the belief in this supreme lordship over all mankind by the Grand Duchy is not a requirement for friendly relations."
Holidays
The major holidays in the Grand Duchy of Haren are:
- 3 Jan - Festival of Jed, commemorates the birth of the great national hero.
- 30 Feb - Mars Day, The anniversary of the first trip to Mars.
- 21 April (approx) - Vernal Equinox, an excuse to party.
- 18 May - Festival of Ray, Commemorates the birth of the Lord High Mayor.
- 6 Jun - Battle Day, This is the anniversary of the Great Battle of the Tree Trimmers.
- 4 Aug - Independence Day, The day Haren became a sovereign nation.
- 26 Nov - Mourning Day, The day the Lord High Mayor got married.
- 21 Dec (approx) - Winter Solstice, another excuse to party.